“What is man that You are mindful of Him, And the
Son of man that You visit him? For you have made him a little lower than the
angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor”- Psalm 8:3-5.
Every person was created in the image of God. This
gives each human an inherit value and worth. God crafted every human in perfect
love. Each person is a sacred image created by God. Man is crowned with honor
and glory. Though we are perishable and formed out of dust, we are deeply
precious in God’s sight. Though finite, we were given value and dignity by the
Creator God. God’s love is not like
human love, but it is infinitely deeper and surpasses our understanding. God
loves His creation, and He is not a God of waste. He would not create a person
that He did not plan to passionately love.
Is it possible to deeply and passionately love
someone who will never love you back? Is it possible to love them so much that
you would give your life for them though they do not care for you at all? Is a
human capable of loving someone without them ever loving back? I think there is
a capacity in us for this.
In High school I experienced my only “love at first
sight.” I was in 9th grade, and I remember exactly where I was. I
fell in love with this person, just head over heels. There was an instant and
almost automatic attraction and care. Obviously, I experienced infatuation, but
I genuinely believe that I started to love this boy. I liked him almost all of
High School. I also prayed for him every day for 7 years. I don’t know why; I
was just compelled to pray for him. In college we became better friends. I
almost thought he might begin to like me. I still prayed for him. Then he broke
my heart a second time by dating another perfect and more exciting girl.
Surely, I must not be good enough I thought. I am not enough for him to like
me.
All I ever did was care for him and want to bless
him. I sincerely prayed for him to have a walk with God. I always thought about
his best. Though I was infatuated, I can honestly say that I had a genuine love
for this person. After my heart was broken, I began to see that he would never
love me back. The more God drew me to Himself, the more I saw how impossible
such a relationship would be anyway. The more I drew closer to the light, the
more he drifted deeper into darkness. “Do not be yoked together with
unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what
fellowship can light have with darkness? … What agreement is there between the temple of God and
idols?”- 2 Corinthians 6:14-16.
My love for God was
growing more and more; and God is a jealous God. This boy I loved had become an
idol, and God removed this idol from my heart. I counted the cost of
discipleship and let him go forever. Yet, a love remained and so now I only
pray. This love is not a marital kind of love at all, only a genuine love for a
lost soul. All I hope to know one day is to hear that he was saved somehow, and
that is enough.
I can look back and
think how ridiculous of me to have loved such an unworthy person. I really
cannot find any good reasons that love should have remained. Truly he did
nothing to deserve my care. But God taught me something of great value from
this experience of heartbreak.
God allowed my
experience, because He wanted me to understand, in a sense, what it is like to
love someone who will never love you back. He wanted me to feel what it is like
to desire someone who will never choose you, to care for a person who does not
even think about you. God gave me a
small taste of what He must feel like to love His humans, some of whom will
never love Him back. He died for people, some of whom will never give a rip,
yet He still gave His life for them. God was able to give without having to
receive. Humans are not as able to do this. God can give without getting any
returns. God gave His Son for the human race, though some will never receive
the love and free gift of salvation. It isn’t a cold business for God when a
person rejects Him, but heartbreak. I am glad my heart was broken, so that I could
have a sense of the deep love God has for His creation.
God does not love
us depending upon our faithfulness or loveablity. We are as unworthy of being loved as that boy
I liked.
“The Lord did not set his love upon you, nor choose
you, because ye were more in number than any people; for ye were the fewest of
all people:
But
because the Lord loved you, and because he would keep the
oath which he had sworn unto your fathers, hath the Lord brought you out with a mighty hand, and
redeemed you out of the house of bondmen, from the hand of Pharaoh king of
Egypt.”- Deut. 7:7-9
Hosea was told to
love a girl who would only break his heart and cheat on him. Yet he loved her,
though she was undeserving. He loved, just like God still loves every human and
gives them a chance until they die; until the very last second He would take
them in.
This unbeliever,
the boy I loved, did give me something in the end. From this experience, I
gained more of God and count all else as loss for the sake of Christ, Who is
the greatest Reward and Husband.
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