Miracles

"Nothing, however, that enters our lives is out of the control of God. Indeed, he will use the events of life to train us in wisdom, if we will just trust Him and 'hang in there.' Out of the endurance will come a strong character and a joyful outlook on life"- Harold Bullock, Sharper Strokes.

Hanukkah starts tomorrow! I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Hanukkah. May you find joy in God's love and faithfulness this season! 

Most often, other people have much better things to say than I do. I have recently finished reading one of the best and most valuable books I have ever read, besides the Bible. Here is a short excerpt from Sharper Strokes, by Harold Bullock, that I personally found encouraging and uplifting. May it also inspire you with hope, joy, and courage: 

"This cheerful, hopeful, steadfastness turns out to be the key to Christian maturity. "Hupomone" ... is a Greek noun .. translated, "endure." Hupomone, "staying under power," is translated "patience" or "perseverance." In the NT, it is characteristic of a person who has not deviated from his chosen purpose, his trust in Christ, and commitment to a holy walk even though he has gone through the greatest trials and sufferings. James encourages us to rejoice when problems come.

Why rejoice? James says that when we have to go through trials that challenge our faith, we develop "Perseverance" (hupomone). Extended hupomone generates full Christian maturity. In time, it produces a full and rich Christian character (Jas. 1:2-4). ... hupomone produces "tested and tried character," that is, godly character that has set deeply into us. Further, that kind of character produces hope, a confident, expectant outlook on life, knowing the certainty of the goodness of God and of our ultimate salvation 

. . . Overtime, the "endurance training" has effect. The character of Christ sets deeply in us and shapes in us a joyful, confident outlook on life."- Harold Bullock. 

"This side of heaven, those who endure (calmly and bravely bear up under) difficulty will find the compassion and mercy of the Lord at the end of the testing times - just as Job was incredibly blessed at the end of his endurance (Jas. 5:11; Job 42:10-17)" - Harold Bullock. 

A great visual of the Gospel - pass it along :)

Be of Good Cheer!

At 6:35 am, this morning, my dad burst open my door and turned the light on. He exclaimed that my car had been stolen. He asked, "Did you lock your car last night?" I said, "Yes, dad, I always lock my car." Then He hurried back upstairs to look for the car again. I just lay in my bad, still recovering from being so immediately awoken from deep sleep. I started to think through the scenario. I first was reminded of the message given to the High Schoolers at church last night. Part of the message was about difficulties, from the later part of Acts 11. I remembered something that I had written down that the High School pastor, Zack, said:
 "Difficulty is far more useful than what we would choose for ourselves."

Last night, the message reminded me of a powerful verse God spoke to me a while back: "It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes"- Psalm 119:71. I realized that God prepared me last night for a test of faith this morning. I really need my car. Then I started thinking of what was in my car that was valuable. My textbooks were on my back seat and my Old Testament Survey notebook. That is unfortunate, but I guess I can share books with my friends; I will just have to  pay the extra fee for the textbook I rented. Surprisingly, I was able to remain calm and simply  pray that God would make it all okay. Maybe the insurance will replace the car? The grace of God gave me peace as I prayed. Soon my dad hurried back to my room and asked where my sister was ... She wasn't in her bed. Though she had not gone all season, this random morning she went to early morning swim practice. And took my car to go at 5 am. I couldn't think of how God would answer my prayer, but He did so quickly. My car wasn't stolen after all! I praised Him. I believe that maybe God was testing me to see if I would initially panic or trust that He is provider and in control.

For Christians, it is not a question of if difficulties will come, but when and to what extent they will happen. But God will never give us more than we can handle. For me this morning, the perceived difficulty was a false alarm. But, sometimes real "nightmares" do come true in our lives (things much more difficult than a car getting stolen).  One of my favorite verses is Job 23:10 "But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." In my past nightmare come true experiences, I sometimes could not see anything at all. Verses like Job 23:10 may sometimes be all that can be relied on: having to trust that God knows that way that I take, even though I do not; having to trust that God has only a good outcome in store, though the pain is ripping your heart. God's purpose is to make you more like Jesus. "Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, As do stripes the inner depths of the heart" - Prov.20:30. During the times of difficulty, as Zack put it, the pain feels like pieces of your heart are being ripped away. In that process, God is cleansing away evil. Though I do not rejoice in the painful things, I rejoice in how they bring about a deeper love for Jesus. Nothing compares to knowing Jesus. Time passed will show us again that often, "Difficulty is far more useful than what we would choose for ourselves." 

If today a difficulty comes your way, how will you respond? Here is a story about when the disciples panicked. Even though Jesus is in the boat with the disciples, they dramatically cry out that they are dying! And trust me, I too have dramatically cried out to God, "Save me, I am dying!"
"Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We are perishing!' But He said to them, 'Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?'
The He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. So the men marveled, saying, 'Who can this be, that even the winds and sea obey Him?'"- Matt. 8:25-27.

The tempest came upon the disciples, "suddenly." Be encouraged today that even when the sudden tempests come upon your day, that God commands the winds and the waves, and they obey Him. This same God is commanding the creation around you. He is with you and for you.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world"- John 16:33

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved."- Acts 4:12

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"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."- John 3:16

Pray for those who have chosen to follow Jesus at the Harvest Crusade, that they will be discipled. Pray that they will stay in the love of God.

"And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."- Acts 2:38.

*Praising God that He is mighty to save*

*There is hope for the hurting*

"Joy Comes in the Morning"

The morning air burns away the steamy August clouds, bringing in the fragrance of late summer. "God remembered Noah," and at such a sight I remember these powerful words. I know God remembers me.
The water in the streets is plated with sunlight, like paths of gold. This morning is perfect. The lovely clouds are shrouding the sun for just a little longer, so I can catch this view and sit on the balcony.

"But the path of the just is like the shining sun,
That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day" - Proverbs 4:18.

Dawn is alighting all about me, and with each moment the day is getting brighter. There is such perfect peace in this meadow valley today. The sun rays are now pouring through the clouds and onto the hills beneath them - like Heaven reaching for earth in Jesus Christ.

This last weekend I went to the Harvest Crusade with the High School group from church. First we did some evangelism the day before and in the morning. The whole weekend was an amazing blessing, as we fellowshiped as a family and went out proclaiming the Gospel. This Good News is that you can trust in Jesus' work on the cross to save you. A Savior has been sent to die on the cross for sins, and to rise again three days later, rescuing men and women from sin and death.   Jesus came to ransom men and women for God.

“And they sang a new song, saying:

You are worthy to take the scroll,
And to open its seals;
For You were slain,
And have redeemed us to God by Your blood
Out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation, And have made us kings and priests to our God;
And we shall reign on the earth.”- Revelation 5:9-10

At the Harvest Crusade, we tasted a small idea of Heaven, as our countrymen and women filled a stadium of worship unto God. For King and Country came to lead thousands of people to worship. They decided on naming the band, For King and Counrty, because that was the battle cry of the British before they went into battle (The band is Australian, once a colony of Britain). But their battle cry is for King (Jesus), and Country (Heaven, the people of God). They pointed to us, when they said country; I loved that idea of profound love and service to God's Country. Here is a song that they played. Truly there is no greater joy than to be with God's people, to invite others into Heaven's Country, and to worship Jesus.

The Devo I read today and must share

Joined in God by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman
	"As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" (2 Cor. 6:10). Sorrow was beautiful, but her beauty was the beauty of the moonlight shining through the leafy branches of the trees in the wood, and making little pools of silver here and there on the soft green moss below. When Sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of the nightingale, and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who has ceased to look for coming gladness. She could weep in tender sympathy with those who weep, but to rejoice with those who rejoice was unknown to her. Joy was beautiful, too, but his was the radiant beauty of the summer morning. His eyes still held the glad laughter of childhood, and his hair had the glint of the sunshine's kiss. When Joy sang his voice soared upward as the lark's, and his step was the step of a conqueror who has never known defeat. He could rejoice with all who rejoice, but to weep with those who weep was unknown to him. "But we can never be united," said Sorrow wistfully. "No, never." And Joy's eyes shadowed as he spoke. "My path lies through the sunlit meadows, the sweetest roses bloom for my gathering, and the blackbirds and thrushes await my coming to pour forth their most joyous lays." "My path," said Sorrow, turning slowly away, "leads through the darkening woods, with moon-flowers only shall my hands be filled. Yet the sweetest of all earth-songs--the love song of the night--shall be mine; farewell, Joy, farewell." Even as she spoke they became conscious of a form standing beside them; dimly seen, but of a Kingly Presence, and a great and holy awe stole over them as they sank on their knees before Him. "I see Him as the King of Joy," whispered Sorrow, "for on His Head are many crowns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great victory. Before Him all my sorrow is melting away into deathless love and gladness, and I give myself to Him forever." "Nay, Sorrow," said Joy softly, "but I see Him as the King of Sorrow, and the crown on His head is a crown of thorns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great agony. I, too, give myself to Him forever, for sorrow with Him must be sweeter than any joy that I have known." "Then we are one in Him," they cried in gladness, "for none but He could unite Joy and Sorrow." Hand in hand they passed out into the world to follow Him through storm and sunshine, in the bleakness of winter cold and the warmth of summer gladness, "as sorrowful yet always rejoicing." "Should Sorrow lay her hand upon thy shoulder, And walk with thee in silence on life's way, While Joy, thy bright companion once, grown colder, Becomes to thee more distant day by day? Shrink not from the companionship of Sorrow, She is the messenger of God to thee; And thou wilt thank Him in His great tomorrow For what thou knowest not now, thou then shalt see; She is God's angel, clad in weeds of night, With 'whom we walk by faith and not by sight.'"

All I know of the future is that I will be with Jesus

"Our poor barren hearts never produced one fruit or flower, till they were watered with the Savior's blood"- Charles Spurgeon

Picture: Budding trees in Eiserfeld, Germany

Lessons in Waiting, from Streams in the Desert, July 22

"And therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious unto you...blessed are all they that wait f or him" (Isa. 30:18).

"We must not only think of our waiting upon God, but also of what is more wonderful still, of God's waiting upon us. The vision of Him waiting on us, will give new impulse and inspiration to our waiting upon Him. It will give us unspeakable confidence that our waiting cannot be in vain. Let us seek even now, at this moment, in the spirit of waiting on God, to find out something of what it means. He has inconceivably glorious purposes concerning every one of His children. And you ask, "How is it, if He waits to be gracious, that even after I come and wait upon Him, He does not give the. help I seek, but waits on longer and longer?"

God is a wise husbandman, "who waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it." He cannot gather the fruit till it is ripe. He knows when we are spiritually ready to receive the blessing to our profit and His glory. Waiting in the sunshine of His love is what will ripen the soul for His blessing. Waiting under the cloud of trial, that breaks in showers of blessings, is as needful. Be assured that if God waits longer than you could wish, it is only to make the blessing doubly precious. God waited four thousand years, till the fullness of time, ere He sent His Son. Our times are in His hands; He will avenge His elect speedily; He will make haste for our help, and not delay one hour too long. --Andrew Murray"

The Fleeting Moment

In thinking about love had and lost, faces possibly never to be seen again, the spirit of a person no longer in my life, the slow fading of all things.... It is a fascinating thing that the mind tries to process the passing by of life. Actually, it is fascinating that the mind processes.

Dear memories may be visited, but never again experienced and enjoyed. They may be brought up again by a face from the past, and still the nostalgia cannot be repeated.  New life must come and new moments to be had. There are the good moments of family, God, and restoration... But there is the bad moment I wish to process before you; I call him the "fleeting moment:"

The fleeting moment is the great taunter of life; he promises worldly satisfaction, arrival, pleasure, happiness, and a certain spark of life that somehow everyone is dying to have. The fleeing moment is a great boaster and so hypnotically attractive, that the whole world lusts to have him. He has become the goal of the lives of many. How can he possibly be attained? The conditions are lavish - an all-encompassing pursuit - because, he will always be just one more step ahead, beyond one more thing to buy, one more experience to have, and then beyond just still one more... then only one more, everyone is sure of it. But like a sour sting, again the moment is running just a little too far ahead, like a little wisp of faint light evading all grasp. Lives are completely exhausted and consumed to catch this fleeting moment that never happens and never satisfies. The life lived for the pursuit of pleasure drives all to their deaths... The fleeting moment is the great swindler of life. He masquerades as the real, when he is the greatest, cleverest fake.

I was also charmed by the "fleeting moment." I tried to chase him and lost.  Yet this awakening from wasted pursuit caused me to find, in my very hands, the light of life that had I been searching for. All along, I already had the real moment. Christ is the moment. In Christ, the moment is ours to have and to give.

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."- John 10:10

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”- John 8:12

Life Like a Wave

One of the greatest oppositions to the power of Christ at work in our lives is... the fleshly effort. The magnanimous, well-meaning, fleshly effort. How often this misinterpreted, best friend of ours, manages to find its self-righteous way getting in God's way.
I have found, as I am sure many others have, that we can run quite an “impressive” distance on our own steam. What great feats we can do in such short, burn out stages. If we are lucky, or I should say highly blessed, God will let us burn out sooner rather than later, and let us come to the place of exhausting all natural resources. There, we may be enlightened to realize the vital need for eternal resources to be at work in fueling our lives. It is a good place to run out of our own, fleshly fuel. Grade F may finally be exhausted so that grade A can fill up the tank. It is always a good moment of great hope to come to the end of one's self. It is there that the power of God may take over and do for us what we cannot do for ourselves- often, immeasurably more than we thought possible.

God's life in us might be like surfing a wave. It takes focus and abiding, but it is naturally momentous, a catching of power from a source outside ourselves. I am not advocating a passive faith  (good surfers still need to have skills).  But, there is something to be said of the supernaturally natural life of God in us- not of earning and striving for Heavenly gifts, but of abiding in Christ and walking by faith in His promises.  The picture of a wave has helped me to digest how a life of daily dependence upon the mighty wave of God might be like. The power of momentum is from an outside source so largely greater than human strength. Sometimes the waves He allows might seem like rogue waves to survive, and yet the Holy Spirit can cause us to glide upon even those.

Today's message on Kwave :)

From James MacDonald:

"Faith - is believing God's Word and acting upon it, no matter how I feel, because God has promised a good result.

Faith- is choosing the future over the moment."

The Potter's Hands

Enjoying the great calm after the storm. We can be grateful and encouraged, because it is the storms of life that have changed us most and brought us closer to God's heart.

 "Even as the testimony of Christ was confirmed in you,  so that you come short in no gift, eagerly waiting for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will also confirm you to the end, that you may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.  


God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."-1 Cor. 1:6-9

God is rich in mercy and grace. He is rich in love everlasting, and that love, loves me too much to leave me the same.

Those Potter's hands of love have wounded me to make me better. They have broken me that a greater One could live and guide this life. God is a consuming fire. He burns the chaff and refines the gold. In God's hands, I'll never be left the same. I feel, often, His tools on me. They press hard.

I waited in the dark cell, to sing a song in the night that will change the world more than laughter in the day. While I am passed by, yet God has His eyes on me for a special purpose... the calling of being last, of being nothing, so Jesus can be my All in All. So Jesus lives through me, and I rest sweetly in Him.

"Ours not to make reply,
 ours not to reason why,
Ours but to do and die" - Oswald Chambers.

The still breath of the sky carries steadily by.
The quiet of the clouds,
They lay reflecting in the air.
The earth is thinking. There is peace after the storm has passed.
Where does the plane fly?

Windows reflecting in my eyes to a sea of new hope.
Sailing on a sea of white cloud,
to new things...

Who sees the small people looking out a plane window,
save God in the Heavens.

In the quiet hour, my heart sets to ponder 
the wonder of an existence, 
the curiosity of a consciousness. 
The suns shines at these thoughts. 
There is meaning behind the magnificent insignificance, 
the sweet danger of every human heartbeat. 

Dreams may crumble, yet this is not my best life, but the next.  And so all my dreams can come or go, because the greatest dream I never thought of came true. God raised Jesus from the dead, and I praise Him, because He has also raised my life from death. Jesus shed His blood, so I could live forever. He was rejected, so I could be accepted. He became poor, so I could be rich spiritually. He died, so I could experience His abundant life.

God will be with me when I take my last breath and receive me to glory. Never for one moment will I be separated from Him who loves me. But from final heartbeat on earth to the resurrection of eternal life, I will not taste death.

"Whatever comes, whatever goes. The Lord's teaching me He's in control. And if I never had anything more, well at least I got Him, He saved my soul."- Andy Mineo

Some Berlin Outreach Highlights!

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever should believe in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life." - John 3:16

We love Calvary Chapel Berlin!!

Amazing Song! Something of what we listened to while on the Berlin Outreach

I’ll let go of all, because all I can keep is you. Put my eyes to sleep to the pleasures of this world. Let them pass me by like the scenes of a train window. Let the disappointments fall by. I’ll pass them by like shadows in the field.

But your song floods my heart to hope for more, to joy in trusting you. To trust and obey.

This is the last half hour and soon I’ll be home. Maybe I’ll be last now, maybe overlooked, but so much more blessed than words could say. Let it all be well with my soul – I want to go all the way.

I am a thinking nobody in the dim reflection of this train window. A thinking nobody chosen by God for the best thing, only One thing. He is my destiny.

“Nevertheless My lovingkindness I will not utterly take from him, Nor allow My faithfulness to fail. My covenant I will not break, Nor alter the word that has gone out of my lips. Once I have sworn my holiness; I will not lie to David: His seed shall endure forever, And his throne as the sun before Me; It shall endure forever, And his throne as the sun before Me; It shall be established forever like the moon, Even like the faithful witness in the sky. Selah”- Psalm 89:33-37.

I pour my heart to you like a broken box of alabaster. I choose to extravagantly “waste” my heart, my life for your pleasure. You are eternally worthy of all worship. You are beautiful; you alone are good. You are right and true. Be still my heart, for you have found life in Him. Be still my soul, for God is your rest.

The fragrance of every broken heart rises as greater love for you. You are worth the broken box; nothing else compares. God, you are worth all and, in You, I truly have all.

“I will love you, O LORD, my strength” I will love you. 

Would if my fingers could type like playing the keys of a piano. To play out thoughts of life like human tunes on paper. Sometimes I would like if thoughts could give rise to music, rather than to actions.

I like sometimes to enter into another world of adventures never written, a world of ink. Can pages of a book transcend reality, or do they only portray reality in new stories? Can the mind conceive of new? No, we only reflect what already is in new ways of expression. The subconscious is trying to process the passing by of life. It is trying to capture the fleeting moment that is gone forever. 

God is Faithful - The Theme of this Season

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”- Isaiah 41:10.

God wants us to exercise greater trust in Him. When another test comes or another stretching circumstance happens, lean hard into God. Believe His word with all your heart, because God is faithful.

We ask for faith and more trust in God, so it follows that situations in our lives will happen to make us have to trust harder and longer, to test our faith more than before. Don’t give up on God, but in the closet of prayer, experience the power of His resurrection. It is in these times that we will get to experience, more than ever, the power of Christ in the midst of our own weakness and uncertainty in life.

We are appointed not only to believe in Jesus, but also to suffer for His sake (Philippians 1:29).  God knows that sometimes only suffering or perhaps, unexpected challenges will be able to bring out the gifts that He has given to us. God deepens our heart and character, often using things that may hurt or be challenging above what we previously thought we could handle. All that the enemy hoped would harm us, however, God uses to make us ever more children of Heaven. We are more than conquerors in Christ. God uses everything that happens together for our good - to change us to become more like Jesus. 

"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward.  For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:

 “For yet a little while,
And He who is coming will come and will not tarry.

Now the just shall live by faith;
But if anyone draws back,
My soul has no pleasure in him.”

But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul."- Hebrews 10:35-39

God is not only interested in advancing the kingdom of God in this world of nations; He is also looking to advance His kingdom in our hearts. As this spiritual war rages on, there is a quiet strength of the closeness of God’s heart that we can enter. Find your peace and faith in His trusted Word. “Thy word is truth.”

“That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed into His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection of the dead.”- Philippians 3:10-11

Attempting Great Things...

"God honors faith - stubborn faith - that sees HIS promise and looks to that alone"- Streams in the Desert, March 28th

In a few weeks, a team from the Bible School here in Germany is going to Berlin. This city, Berlin,  has tugged my heart since I was young. I never thought I would get to go there, especially in the context of an outreach for Jesus!

Please keep this outreach in Prayer!

We are a team of five going to Berlin for a week of evangelism, prayer walking, and to bless the church there. We need prayer for boldness, faith, unity, love, and the power of the Holy Spirit. Please pray for God's glory to come through and for His name to be exalted in Berlin. We are expecting great things from God, for His name's sake, because He is great and able. We desire to serve and to be a blessing. We are going out in faith and in the commission of our Lord, Acts 1:8.

Matthew 9:35-38,

Thank you for co-laboring with us in your prayers.


"One of the distinguishing marks of the Holy Spirit in the New Testament church is the spirit of boldness. One of the great essential qualities of the kind of faith that will attempt great things for God and expect great things from God is holy boldness and daring. When dealing with a supernatural Being and taking things from Him that are humanly impossible, it is actually easier for us to take a lot thatn it is to take a little. And it is easier to stand in a place of bold trust than in a place where we cautiously and timidly cling to the shore.
Like wise sailors living a life of faith, let us launch our ships into the deep. We will find that all things are "possible with God" (Luke 18:27), and "everything is possible for him who believes" (mark 9:23). - Streams in the Desert, March 28th

Acoustic version of my favorite song <3


"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased."- C.S. Lewis

I love the worship song, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," especially the part of the Song that says, "Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above."

From Oswald Chambers:
"The real test of spiritual focus is being able to bring your mind and thoughts under control. Is your mind focused on the face of an idol? Is the idol yourself? Is it your work? Is it your idea of what a servant should be, or maybe your experience of salvation and sanctification? If so, then your ability to see God is blinded. You will be powerless when faced with difficulties and will be forced to endure in darkness. If your power to see has been blinded, don’t look back on your own experiences, but look to God. It is God you need. Go beyond yourself and away from the faces of your idols and away from everything else that has been blinding your thinking. Wake up and accept the ridicule that Isaiah gave to his people, and deliberately turn your thoughts and your eyes to God."

"Lift up your eyes on high, and see who has created these things . . ." —Isaiah 40:26

Tears of the Saints - I love this song!

What an unbeliever taught me about God

“What is man that You are mindful of Him, And the Son of man that You visit him? For you have made him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor”- Psalm 8:3-5.

Every person was created in the image of God. This gives each human an inherit value and worth. God crafted every human in perfect love. Each person is a sacred image created by God. Man is crowned with honor and glory. Though we are perishable and formed out of dust, we are deeply precious in God’s sight. Though finite, we were given value and dignity by the Creator God.  God’s love is not like human love, but it is infinitely deeper and surpasses our understanding. God loves His creation, and He is not a God of waste. He would not create a person that He did not plan to passionately love.

Is it possible to deeply and passionately love someone who will never love you back? Is it possible to love them so much that you would give your life for them though they do not care for you at all? Is a human capable of loving someone without them ever loving back? I think there is a capacity in us for this.

In High school I experienced my only “love at first sight.” I was in 9^th grade, and I remember exactly where I was. I fell in love with this person, just head over heels. There was an instant and almost automatic attraction and care. Obviously, I experienced infatuation, but I genuinely believe that I started to love this boy. I liked him almost all of High School. I also prayed for him every day for 7 years. I don’t know why; I was just compelled to pray for him. In college we became better friends. I almost thought he might begin to like me. I still prayed for him. Then he broke my heart a second time by dating another perfect and more exciting girl. Surely, I must not be good enough I thought. I am not enough for him to like me.

All I ever did was care for him and want to bless him. I sincerely prayed for him to have a walk with God. I always thought about his best. Though I was infatuated, I can honestly say that I had a genuine love for this person. After my heart was broken, I began to see that he would never love me back. The more God drew me to Himself, the more I saw how impossible such a relationship would be anyway. The more I drew closer to the light, the more he drifted deeper into darkness.  “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? … What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?”- 2 Corinthians 6:14-16.

My love for God was growing more and more; and God is a jealous God. This boy I loved had become an idol, and God removed this idol from my heart. I counted the cost of discipleship and let him go forever. Yet, a love remained and so now I only pray. This love is not a marital kind of love at all, only a genuine love for a lost soul. All I hope to know one day is to hear that he was saved somehow, and that is enough.

I can look back and think how ridiculous of me to have loved such an unworthy person. I really cannot find any good reasons that love should have remained. Truly he did nothing to deserve my care. But God taught me something of great value from this experience of heartbreak.

God allowed my experience, because He wanted me to understand, in a sense, what it is like to love someone who will never love you back. He wanted me to feel what it is like to desire someone who will never choose you, to care for a person who does not even think about you.  God gave me a small taste of what He must feel like to love His humans, some of whom will never love Him back. He died for people, some of whom will never give a rip, yet He still gave His life for them. God was able to give without having to receive. Humans are not as able to do this. God can give without getting any returns. God gave His Son for the human race, though some will never receive the love and free gift of salvation. It isn’t a cold business for God when a person rejects Him, but heartbreak. I am glad my heart was broken, so that I could have a sense of the deep love God has for His creation.  

God does not love us depending upon our faithfulness or loveablity.  We are as unworthy of being loved as that boy I liked.

“The Lord did not set his love upon you, nor choose you, because ye were more in number than any people; for ye were the fewest of all people:

But because the Lord loved you, and because he would keep the oath which he had sworn unto your fathers, hath the Lord brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you out of the house of bondmen, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.”- Deut. 7:7-9

Hosea was told to love a girl who would only break his heart and cheat on him. Yet he loved her, though she was undeserving. He loved, just like God still loves every human and gives them a chance until they die; until the very last second He would take them in.

This unbeliever, the boy I loved, did give me something in the end. From this experience, I gained more of God and count all else as loss for the sake of Christ, Who is the greatest Reward and Husband.